But where am I going with all of this? Well, I've been thinking about the written word and how essential and important it is, for me at least, to learn from what others have written. Whether fiction or non-fiction, there is usually something to learned or gained from 'hearing' an author's voice. The other day I was thinking about my top favourite books and how important they have been in shaping my thought process as I learn and grow as a mom and wife, as well as my Christian walk. Today I'm going to share five books that have resonated with me so deeply that I haven't forgotten the messages I've learned from them to this day. These are all non-fiction works; maybe someday I will compile a list of my top five favourite fiction books.
1. A Woman's High Calling by Elizabeth George
This first one I read while in the midst of baby fog almost ten years ago. It's been so long that I actually don't remember much about the book, but I do know that it was pivotal in my decision to stay home with my kids. I'd always vaguely assumed I'd stay home with them since that's what my mom did. But then it was easy to talk myself out of it when my job was so great and the extra cash was nice. So when my first born was a year old, I went back to work. Reading this book however, opened my eyes to just how important it is for kids to have their moms home. (Please don't take this as a judgement if you work outside the home; I understand that a lot of moms have to work, or simply enjoy working, but this is about my journey and my choices.) And yes, I know that the Bible talks about women being 'keepers at home' but sometimes it helps to have someone spell out the 'why' of certain Biblical suggestions. Anyway, I found this book extremely thought-provoking for me at the time.
2. Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow
I read this one probably about eight years ago. It was one of the few books I managed to read at that time, but it was for my women's book study so I 'had' to read it and I am so glad I did! It's probably the best book on marriage that I've ever read. Whether your husband is a grump or the gentlest man alive, there is help for any wife. In my case, my husband is very gentle and unassuming. I, on the other hand, am very opinionated and bossy. So, I tended to walk all over him. This book totally put me in my place. Again, the Bible tells wives to be respectful to their husbands, but I kind of needed to be told, in today's terms, that my behaviour was not okay. Our marriage has never been awful, but I can definitely say that working on myself to become a better wife has done absolute wonders for our relationship.
3. Am I Messing Up My Kids by Lysa TerKeurst
I read this book a couple of years ago and it was such a healing balm for my soul. I carried a lot of guilt for the way I handled my kids in the first few years of parenting. I was just so hard on them and expected so much from them (especially my first born) and it's been really hard to let that heavy feeling of guilt go. But when I read this book, and actually it's a little study with room to write answers, it felt so refreshing. Lysa reminded me of God's great love for me and my kids and how His love covers and erases everything. There is no reason for me to carry guilt around like a deadweight. It still hasn't been easy to let go of it, but there has been huge healing happening in my heart.
4. Hope for the Weary Mom by Stacey Thacker and Brooke McGlothlin
This book. I have always been quite vocal about my dislike of parenting books. I despise people making parenting into a formula to follow: if you do x, y, z, your kids will turn out into perfect little minions. It drives me nuts and for years I felt like the worst parent ever because those formulas did not work for me. My kids and I are far too sinful for any old formula. Anyway, this book was so healing for my soul. I cried buckets over this book as my heart cried 'yes' over and over. Because honestly? I found being a mom exhausting. There were many times I actually hated it. But this book made me realize that all moms feel that way from time to time (even if they don't admit it). It validated my feelings while also offering hope and practicality for how to manage the stress I was feeling.
5. Kisses From Katie by Katie J. Davis
This book was a departure from the usual parenting/being a wife/help for the Christian kind of book that I normally read. It was about missions and Katie's calling to Africa to be a missionary, which is so far from my comfort zone. I cried buckets over this book too, simply because it brought to light the very deep need in this world, and how the western civilizations are so spoiled and caught up in their own lives. It opened my eyes to a side of the world that I had not really ever thought too much about before. But not only that, it awakened me to the realization that being a missionary doesn't always mean being called to the mission field, but being a good steward of what God has entrusted me with at this moment.
There are so many honourable mentions and it was so hard to narrow this list down. But these five books are the ones that I felt the most deeply and were most life-changing for me.
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